Change

Side note: I feel silly having to do this but apparently I need to explain some things because people are taking this the wrong way. This was not directed at anyone. Notice how I didn't use any names? The people I'm talking about know exactly who they are and no longer have access to my facebook account or blog (unless they want to take the time to search for me) No, I don't think my boss is a jerk or my co worker is a lazy sack. Those were just examples. And as far as those personal issues? Well frankly it's none of your business. But if you do wish to know, just ask me! That is all


I've been wanting to write this post for awhile now, but every time I get on my computer to start a new blog my mind just draws a blank. Even now as I sit and type this my mind just goes in circles, going over everything that has happened this last week. All I know is that a lot of changes took place and I'm not a fan of change.

Change didn't use to bother me. When working at my previous job at Timberhill I was always the go with the flow and flexible type. My schedule would change as I switched swifts with someone at work and going to school meant a new schedule every term. Life would carry on and I would go about my day. But there came to a point in my life where change started bothered me. And I think that was right about the time I started my new job at Little Beavers. I was in charge of the summer program with the older kids and when September started I was to be in charge of their kinder care program. Then without warning, everything changed. I moved classrooms and everything I was looking forward too slowly deteriorated. That's when I decided that change was not for me. I was happy with what I had, so why change it?

This last week was probably biggest change I've experienced. You see I'm working at a new place now. Still with the same company but at a different center located in Corvallis. It was an unexpected change but when my boss realized how miserable I was at my other job she gave me the opportunity to start fresh. You would think that with how miserable I was I would be excited, but I wasn't. Working somewhere else meant change. It meant leaving my classroom, it meant leaving those kiddos that I cared so much about. It meant saying goodbye to the friendships I've made with some really awesome people. And even when my boss offered a full time infant teacher position, I still turned it down, knowing I would love it and would leave to a better place. And even though I was working with some mean people I still continued to work there because my mom has always taught me that you can't change the people you work with. You don't have to like them, they don't have to be your friend but because you work with them you still have to be civil with them. Your boss might be a jerk, and your co worker might be a lazy sack, but you still have to work and deal with them. The only reason why I got up in the mornings was for those kids! So I carried on.

This went on for quite some time. I will admit that not everyone there was horrible. (Did you notice the emphasis some eailer??) I did make some good friendships there and enjoyed working with them and enjoyed their company. But I was getting sick of the drama. Sick of the back stabbing. I was tired of stuff being said about me that wasn't true. I lost my trust in a lot of people because after I shared something with them that was personal, they would spread it around and it would get distorted and the next thing you know I would be called into my boss's office. It felt like being in high school all over again. Then one day my boss pulled me into her office for the last time. She saw the pain I was in, heard the horrible stuff being said about me and she wanted to help me. She made me an offer at a new start (again.) A new place with new co workers and kids. She gave me the rest of the day off (paid) and I was to start on Monday. I decided to take it. It was the hardest I've ever had to do. I was emotional, knowing that I wouldn't see those kids again and had to leave without saying goodbye.

A week at the new place has gone by and I can honestly say it's off to a good start. Everyone there has been really friendly to me and I've already started making connections with the kids there. Some days are harder then others. There are times I just want to cry asking myself, "why me?" or "what did I do?" and other times I think to myself that this is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I'm not sure what the future holds for me. Right now I'm just going around helping where I'm needed, trying to find a good spot fr me. My hope is to have my own classroom once again but for now I'm enjoying being happy once again