Last weekend was one of my biggest life changing events that involved lots of tears, and emotions. A time when you say goodbye to the old and hello to the new. The weekend started off with built up anger that lead to bitterness that quickly ended my relationship with John for good. I'm not normally a cynical person and felt bad for saying all of those terrible things to John so I did end up apologizing. When I tried to reach him on Wednesday, I found out that he had blocked my phone number, leaving me unable to call or text him. He doesn't want to talk or see me and has nothing left to say to me. Although I could use a different phone to try and contact to him, I don't see much of a point because he wont answer and, according to him, he will be changing his phone number. My only source of communication with him is through email, which is part of the reason why I got so upset about it. He is too much of a coward to face me and say what he needs to say to my face so instead he sends me an email to tell me that we are done for good. I feel hurt that I didn't get to say goodbye to him properly, and am more worried about his well-being then ever.
I plan on respecting John's wishes. If he wants to be immature about the whole situation, and then go on dating an abusive/controlling, emotional, split-personality bitch, then that's his problem now. There is no point in trying to help him because nothing will change unless he is willing to change. Although I will admit to reading his email repeatedly and can't help but think that there is something... off about it. The words and vocabulary that were used are things that John doesn't normally say. And the email was sent to my 3 different emails I have, as if he didn't know which one was my primary email I use. It just doesn't make sense. A little voice in the back of my head tells me over and over that John had help writing this email, and I wouldn't doubt it if he even wrote it at all.
With emotions flying high I continued on with my weekend of celebration full of friends and family. Although the sun was high and the temperature was hot, I attended a ceremony that I have been waiting to go to for a very long time. Through out the entire ceremony I shook with both excitement and nervousness; so shaking that when I received my diploma I almost dropped it. And $10,000 and 5 years later I have a piece of paper to prove that I have graduated from college.
And all of my hard work had definitely paid off, for I already have a job lined up for me and am suppose to begin my training tomorrow. I feel very grateful for already been given a wonderful opportunity of a full time job and think of the numbers of college graduates who are stuck at a minimum wage job, having tried every job there is out there.
So this is it. This is a time for me to start new chapter in my life. I may have lost someone very close to me, but it doesn't mean it's the end of the world. Hopefully John will figure out sooner then later that he is in a bad situation, but being that he is completely brainwashed, it's not my problem anymore for I've done all I can do. It's time for me to instead do what I enjoy doing: Teach and provide an education for children. My search for a one bedroom apartment has begun, as well as the start of adulthood.
Seize the day!
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