Lately I've been having some problems letting go of the past. Tyrel will go out with his friends, have a good time, and come home late. I shouldn't make a big deal about it, couples should be able to have a good time on their own, but I can't help but feel a sense of jealousy. Maybe it could be because I have an ex that would ditch me every night to go out with friends but I wasn't allowed to go out with my girlfriends without a guilt trip. Maybe I just feel that it's not fair that Tyrel gets to go out and have fun and I'm stuck needing to go to bed so I can get up for work in the morning. Maybe I worry that he choices to go out to get away from me. Whatever the reason I really need to work through this and get over it.
I kept thinking about it, trying not to make a fight out of it. Going over each scenario, trying to understand the true reason of why it bothers me. I couldn't come up with it. That is until Tyrel and I were over at his friend's house for a party. As I was sitting down, watching everyone around me, laughing and having fun it hit me. The real reason why it bothered me so much when Tyrel went out with his friends.
Tyrel has something special, something that was taken away from me; a best friend. It's not fair that Tyrel gets to hang out with his best friends and have fun, and I wont ever have that because my best friend is gone... forever. The more I thought about, the more upset it got me.
Joseph Michael Pablo Jr. I miss you so much. Not a day goes by when I don't think of you. I could sure use a hug from you
No comments:
Post a Comment