I feel lost. I love you but at the same time hate you. I say don't talk to me when all I want to do is hear your voice. I say don't call me but constantly check my phone to see if I even have one little message from you. My heart can't take it anymore. I love you... but I don't want to love you anymore because it causes too much pain. I've been having nightmares, causing me to wake up at night and not being able to sleep. I don't have someone to protect anymore. I'm confused about what I want anymore. I think about you constantly, of everything we've been through together and bring back happy memories. You make me happy but at the same time really mad. I don't know what happen to you but I want the old John back. The John that loved me and cared about me. The John that made me happy. The John that didn't care what people thought of him.
I don't know what to do anymore. My heart feels empty and torn into pieces. I cry whenever I think about you or talk to you. I need to know that you love me back because at the moment I don't feel that you do. You would not put me through this much pain if you did. I need you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
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