Wordless Wednesday: Cuhna- one of the family

He may be a dog, but I consider him part of the family.

My poor baby... :(

My poor puppy...

My family was gone all weekend and I noticed my dog, Cuhna, hadn't been acting himself. But I figured he was just moping around because he was stuck at home. Didn't really think twice when his energy level went down, and we had to pick him up in order to get him to go outside. My sister took him to the river, he played outside, did all the things he normally does.

But on Monday, I went to pick him up to take him for a walk. He greeted me like he usually does, jumping on me and licking my face, raced me to the car and off we went to the dog park. We get there and start walking, and I notice his unusual slow pace. Usually I'm the one having a hard time keeping up with him, but for once he was having a hard time keeping up with me. He didn't do his normal greetings to the other people we passed by, and had no interest in other dogs, unlike his normal happy behavior of needing to say "hi" to everyone.

I cut my walk short, realizing that I had left my inhaler at home so I turned around. Our walk was a normal walking speed we always do, and a normal distance. But by the time we got to the car I was literally dragging him back to the car. Noticing a funny limp I picked him up and carried him back to the car. We get home, and all of his energy is gone and didn't even want to jump out of the car to greet the neighbor across the street, again not like him at all.

Figuring that he was just tired and missing the rest of the family, I brushed it off and went home. 15 minutes later I get a text message from my sister saying that Cuhna couldn't walk. He was not able to walk on his back legs at all and the more this continued the worse he got, so we took him to the vet.

The diagnosis:
He is paralyzed from the waist down.
The cause:
Unknown




As you can see, he is unable to walk on his back legs. He's on some meds so he's not in as much pain anymore, and last night he was willing to eat. There is some hope that he will get better, but a 50/50 chance that he will be able to walk again. I will keep you posted as the week carries on and he goes back to the vet for a follow up appointment. In the mean time I'm trying to remain positive about the whole situation :(

Frustrations...

Why is it that the one area I want to get rid of when losing weight (my stomach area) is the one area that STAYS?! I lose weight but still look the same. I don't feel different and am still not satisfied with how I look.

I've been working really hard to workout, eat healthy and no junk food for almost 3 weeks now. Guess it's time to increase the diet even more, which has been the hardest part because I have a really bad sweet tooth.

Must keep at it before I start seeing real results, but it's just so frustrating not seeing the difference on the scale. Any advice is welcomed.

Wordless Wednesday: Sunsets

I love sunsets. When ever the sun goes down I first look to see if there are any clouds, because clouds is what gives the sun that awesome effect, and then look to the west.
These are some of my favorite sunset pictures:

4th of July

This year the 4th came on Monday, and I had the day off, this only meant that I had a 3 day weekend. This year I was planning on being part of the 4th of July parade with my work and was going to have the kids be part of it as well. We spent time decorating Bailee's scooter and Braylon's wagon the day before

We all got up early the next day and both me and kids were really excited... but when we arrived it turns out we had missed the entire parade. My work gave me the wrong time on my flyer! :( We were all bummed out so instead we went to eat with some friends

I felt bad for not being able to do the parade, I decided to take the kids to the park for a play date:

Braylon loved playing on the train!

Of course what would 4th of July be without: fireworks!
Tyrel was part of the team that shot off the fireworks display so I had a front row seat to the show. Awesome and overall good day.

Anyway, I'm exhausted. It's been a very eventful day and should be in bed. Good night world

My confession

I've been contemplating writing about this for awhile. For the past couple of years I've been struggling with my weight. I start with a simple diet and working out, but it wouldn't last long. Something would go wrong, and I would resort to my old eating habits. And even though I would be disappointed with myself, I still chose to do nothing about it. A few months would go by and I would try once again a lifestyle change that would, as always, end in failure. After being on diet after diet I decided to seek help and advice.

I started my endless search on the internet. Looking for tips on what works best and what doesn't, I decided to keep a private log to observe and reflect on my eating habits. After about a month of this I discovered a hard truth that I had a hard time admitting until a couple of weeks ago: I have an eating disorder.

Even thinking about it, it doesn't quite sink in, and I there are times when I try to deny the awful truth, but I have come to a point in my life where I need to stop hiding from the truth and just admit to my flaws so that I may feel better about myself. All the signs are there.

--I use food for comfort.
--Even when I'm not hungry I still chose to eat
--When I'm eating, I keep eating until all my food is gone, even if I feel full.
--After eating a huge amount of food, I feel disgusted and upset with myself about my eating habits
--I wake up the next day thinking that today is going to be the day that I make a change, but it never happens.

I'm constantly repeating this vicious cycle, lowering my self esteem and self image more everyday.

Well no more. I'm not exactly sure what brought on the need for me to eat all the time. I could make up all sorts of excuses, "2010 was a hard year..." "...Finishing school was stressful" "...I broke up with my boyfriend after being together for 5 years" "...My best friend died in a car accident." Whatever the excuse may be, The truth is, having no self control is the real reason why I've been struggling.

So here's to a new lifestyle change. The beginning of what is going to be the hardest battle I've ever had to fight before. The start of something that I plan on finishing hard and strong!

Today is a new day!

Update

It's been awhile since I've written an actual blog before. Been really busy lately and next thing I know 3 weeks has gone by and it's almost the end of June!

Work has basically consumed my life and I spend most of my free time planning and writing lesson plans. I'm in bed early almost every night because I wake up at 6:30 in the morning. My weekends consist of spending time with my boyfriend and depending on the day we either watch a lot of movies, play games, or just go on nice walks.

Things between me and Tyrel are going great. We just had our one year anniversary and things couldn't be better. We have started the process of looking for a place to move into together. And will be all moved in by the end of September.

Well that's it for now. Nothing really else going on in my life. My goal is come on more often since I've developed this new crave for blogging